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Our Man Bashir

Production no.: 482
Teleplay by: Ronald D. Moore
Story by: Robert Gillan
Directed by: Winrich Kolbe
Stardate: not given 
First satellite airdate: November 25, 1995
Max Grodénchik .......
Kenneth Marshall .....
Andrew Robinson .....
Melissa Young .........
Marci Brickhouse .....
Mona Luvsitt

A tuxedo-clad Bashir tosses an eyepatch-wearing assassin named Falcon through the window of a nightclub. He turns to celebrate with a gorgeous young woman, but the assassin gets up and begins stalking him again -- whereupon Bashir whips around and pops a champagne cork which knocks him out cold. "Thank you, Mister... Mister...?" inquires the woman. "Bashir," he tells her suavely. "Julian Bashir."

He kisses her, only to be interrupted by the sound of clapping. Garak, also in a tux, has entered the holosuite program and has been watching, much to Bashir's annoyance. "Breaking into a holosuite during someone's program is not only rude, it's illegal. I should call Odo and have you arrested." "What an extreme reaction that would be," Garak remarks. "You must be very embarrassed by this program." The Cardassian is extremely curious about it and whether it reveals anything hidden in Bashir's inner psyche. Bashir heaves a mental sigh and finally agrees that Garak can stay; meanwhile, however, the woman is walking away. "Oh, no," says Garak contritely. "I do apologize. You must be incensed. In fact, if I were in your shoes, I'd grab a bottle of champagne and shoot me." "I can see I'm going to regret this," Bashir says, but Garak smiles. "Don't worry, Doctor. We're going to have a wonderful time. After all, what could possibly go wrong?"

They arrive in a luxurious apartment in Hong Kong which is where Bashir's character lives, along with his beautiful valet, Mona Luvsitt, and a small arsenal inside a sliding wall compartment. "I take it your character is some kind of rich dilettante with a fascination for women and weapons," says Garak. "Actually, my character is far more disreputable," Bashir tells him. "I'm a spy." He goes on to say that he works for Great Britain in the Cold War era, and everything here was provided by his government. "I think I joined the wrong intelligence service," Garak remarks appreciatively.

Meanwhile, in the real world, the runabout Orinoco is returning to DS9 from a conference, with Sisko, Kira, Dax, O'Brien, and Worf aboard. As Eddington is greeting them, O'Brien spots a power surge in the warp drive. They can't take it offline, and suddenly a warp core breach is imminent. The ejection system has been removed -- the runabout has been sabotaged. Eddington works to beam them off. The five officers are in the midst of materializing in Ops when the runabout explodes, and so does the transporter stage. Eddington gazes in shock as he registers that the pad is empty.

Odo and Eddington both work fast. The five officers' patterns are still in the transporter buffer, but need to be put somewhere quick before they degrade. Not only their bodies but their neural signatures need to be saved, and the computer doesn't have enough memory. Eddington orders all necessary computer memory wiped in order to save the patterns. The lights go out. The patterns are gone from the buffer, but neither Odo nor Eddington has a clue where they went.

Bashir's program is still running, and Bashir is explaining to Garak that he's posing as a wealthy jet-setter when there's a noise behind a wall. Drawing a pistol, he presses a button, and the wall rotates around to reveal Kira lying on a bed in a slinky nightgown. Bashir shoots Garak an annoyed look. "Very funny. Who else did you invite along with you today?" Garak is as surprised as he is. However, this Kira speaks in a really cheesy Russian accent, and says her name is Colonel Anastasia Komananov, KGB. She's also extremely friendly towards Bashir.

"Perhaps this isn't Major Kira after all," suggests Garak. Bashir tells the computer to restore Anastasia's image to its original parameters, but the computer is unable to comply, and says the parameters are correct. "Julian, ve don't haf time for games," Anastasia says, as Bashir tries freezing the program. The computer tells him that control has been disrupted due to a stationwide emergency.

Alarmed, Bashir calls Ops, where Odo and Eddington are surprised to learn that the holo-program is still running, but even more so by the fact that a character has been replaced with Kira's image. After a bit of checking, Eddington urgently tells Bashir, "Doctor, whatever you do, don't end that program." They believe the holosuite memory core is holding the transporter patterns of the missing officers, which might be lost forever if the program is ended. Bashir will have to stay in it for now and keep it running.

Anastasia begins briefing Bashir on the mission. There have been a series of earthquakes in different locations on the planet, and seismologists have determined that they were artificial. The two of them will be working together, as their governments have decided to cooperate; their job is to find out who is behind the earthquakes, and what they want. There is one clue: a leading seismologist, named Professor Honey Bare, has been kidnapped. Anastasia shows Bashir a picture, and he looks at it in shock -- Honey Bare is Dax. And if she is killed, the computer will erase Dax's pattern.

As they are talking, the door opens, and Mona is standing there. She falls over, a dagger in her back. Then a man steps through, with two henchmen. He's Falcon, back again -- only now he has the face of Chief Miles O'Brien. "Nice to see you, Mr. Bashir." he says with a menacing glint in his one eye. "Now I think we have a little unfinished business." He levels a gun at Bashir.

Anastasia pleads for one last kiss. Falcon, who claims to be a romantic at heart, grants it. As Anastasia embraces Bashir, she whispers, "Earrink," before kissing him. Bashir removes one of her earrings, tosses it, and it explodes like a small grenade. There is a quick hand-to-hand fight; Falcon is knocked out. Bashir notes that Garak has been cut and is bleeding -- the holosuite safeties are off. Bashir then prevents Anastasia from shooting Falcon.

Garak, though, believes that Anastasia has a point. "What do you want me to do?" asks Bashir. "Kill him?" "I want you to stop treating this like a game where everything's going to turn out all right in the end," Garak tells him. "Real spies have to make hard choices. You want to save Dax? Fine. But you may not have the luxury of saving everyone...Eventually you may have to let someone die." Bashir says he'll deal with that if and when it happens, and asks Anastasia if there are any suspects in Honey Bare's kidnapping. Anastasia tells him that a Dr. Noah has been kidnapping an elite group of artisans and scientists over the past two years. Each of the missing people was invited to meet Noah at a club in Paris shortly before they disappeared. So, that's where Bashir decides they are going.

In the corridor outside the holosuite, Rom has opened up a wall panel, and Odo and Eddington look at the jumble of cobbled-together components, including a spatula -- Rom has had to scrounge for parts because Quark won't let him buy new stuff. The tricorder reveals that all five of the physical patterns are here in the holosuite, and stable; they're being processed as if they were holosuite characters. However, there's no neural energy; Rom says that has to be stored at the quantum level, and the holosuite can't handle that. It's Quark who realizes that while the physical bodies are here, the brain patterns are everywhere else, taking up every bit of computer memory on the station. The problem is how to restore them.

Bashir, Garak, and Anastasia walk into a Paris nightclub called Club Ingenue, where Bashir tells the maitre d' he has an invitation to see Dr. Noah. They are shown into a game room, and there they see Worf -- or rather Duchamps, an "associate" of Noah's. Bashir introduces himself as Patrick Merriweather, Kira/Anastasia as his wife, and Garak as Garak; "Patrick" is supposedly a leading geologist, and says he feels a little insulted at being left out of the group of scientists that have been invited here. Duchamps offers to arrange a meeting with Noah in exchange for five million francs. "No problem," says Bashir, laying down a bill and proposing to play baccarat to win the rest from Duchamps himself.

Odo notes that a Cardassian separatist group called the True Way has claimed responsibility for sabotaging the runabout, and Eddington confirms that the neural patterns are stored throughout the station's computers. He suggests using the Defiant's transporter to re-integrate the neural and physical patterns. Rom says his equipment wasn't designed to interface with Starfleet systems, so he'll have to make some modifications.

Bashir wins the baccarat game, and gives Duchamps the money. "When do we leave?" he asks. "Right now," says Duchamps, who puts a cigar to his mouth and blows a powder into their faces.

They fall unconscious, and when they wake up, they are in a luxurious sitting room, somewhere in the middle of a mountain range. "Welcome to Paradise, Mr. Merriweather," says a voice. "I believe you've been looking for me. My name is Hippocrates Noah." Bashir and the others look, and discover that Dr. Noah bears a remarkable resemblance to Captain Sisko.

As they chat, Bashir deduces that they're on the southeastern slope of Mount Everest. "You must not get many tourists." "My guests and I place a premium on our privacy," Noah explains. "We don't want any unwelcomed guests, such as men sent by governments who disagree with my political philosophy." His manner becomes increasingly grandiose. "I believe in an orderly world. A far cry from the chaos we find ourselves in today. We are building a new future here. A new beginning for mankind. A new chapter in human history will open, right here on my island."

Noah goes on to explain what he meant by that. He hits a control, causing a wall to rotate and reveal a control panel and a huge map of the world. Honey Bare (Dax) is there as well, and she's obviously working for Noah quite willingly. "You see, Mr. Merriweather," Noah proclaims, "not only do I intend to create a new future, I intend to create a new world." He has hidden lasers at various points under the earth's surface, tested them by creating the earthquakes, and soon he will activate them all together, producing massive quakes that will kill everyone on the planet. "There comes a time when a house has been so damaged by termites that you must not only kill the termites, but demolish the house, and build again."

The lasers will produce massive fissures in the earth's crust, releasing millions of tons of molten lava, which will cause the tectonic plates to settle, and the surface of the planet will shrink, letting the oceans cover the earth. "I am going to let mankind begin anew, here on this island paradise, the only place that will remain above water on my brave new world," Noah raves. "That is why I have gathered the finest minds, the very best that mankind has to offer. We will repopulate and start a new human race. Pity you won't be able to join us." He then reveals that he knows who Bashir is. And he also introduces his newest employee -- Falcon.

Meanwhile, Rom is working on splicing his equipment in with that of the Defiant's transporter; it will be another hour before he's ready. Eddington looks at the mess. "O'Brien's going to kill me when he gets back."

Bashir and Garak are taken to a cave, where they are handcuffed to two support beams of a huge laser pointing at the ground. Noah is about to throw a switch that will start a five-minute countdown until the firing of the laser, which will in turn cause the cave to fill with lava. As for Anastasia, she will be used to help propagate the new human race. Noah flips the switch. "Try to stay cool, Mr. Bashir."

Garak argues for ending the program, or at least having Eddington send someone to remove the handcuffs. Bashir refuses; he doesn't want to interrupt the program lest it collapse and kill the others. Then Honey Bare comes in to make a few final adjustments. "What a waste," Bashir says. "That no one can see what a beautiful woman you are." "Is that your plan?" Garak whispers, incredulous. Bashir hisses at him to shut up, and goes on sweet-talking her, softly asking her to take off her glasses and let her hair down. Garak rolls his eyes. "I must say, Doctor, this is more than I ever wanted to know about your fantasy life."

But Bashir's cajoling works. Honey starts to walk away, comes back, and kisses him, slipping him a key as she does so. Bashir frees himself. Garak can't help but be impressed. "Kiss the girl, get the key. They never taught me that in the Obsidian Order." They escape from the cave just as the laser fires.

The two men plunge through a cave tunnel. Bashir pauses to assemble a small gun, planning to get back to the control room. From past experience, he knows that either Anastasia or Honey Bare will be killed in the program's climax, and he wants to make sure they both survive. But Garak says it's time to cut their losses. "There comes a time when the odds are against you and the only reasonable course of action is to quit." "Quit?" exclaims Bashir, incredulous. "...Is that what they taught you at the Obsidian Order? To give up when things get tough?" "As a matter of fact, they did," Garak tells him. "That's why I've managed to stay alive while most of my colleagues are dead. Because I know when to walk away. And that time is now. Now! And you'd know that, Doctor, if you were a real intelligence agent."

"Oh, so that's what this is all about," Bashir says. "The fact that my fantasy happens to step on what you consider to be your private domain. Well, what's the matter, Garak? Have I bruised your ego by playacting at something you take so very seriously?" "That's something else you've yet to learn, Doctor," Garak counters. "A real intelligence agent has no ego, no conscience, no remorse. Only a sense of professionalism. And mine is telling me that it's time to go." He starts to call for the computer, but Bashir aims the gun at him. Garak eyes him, not believing that he would pull the trigger. "It's time to face reality, Doctor. You're a man who dreams of being a hero, because you know deep down that you're not. I'm no hero either, but I do know how to make a choice. And I am choosing to save myself." Garak then proceeds to call for the exit again, and that's when Bashir shoots him.

It's just a flesh wound. Garak looks at him in shock, and a new respect. "That was awfully close. What if you'd killed me?" "What makes you think I wasn't trying?" Bashir says evenly. "Doctor, I do believe there's hope for you yet," Garak admits. Bashir smiles slightly. "I'm so relieved. Now, we have to get to the control room. Are you coming or not?" Garak eyes the blood on his fingers. "Well, who am I to question Julian Bashir, secret agent?"

They burst into the control room, where Bashir orders everyone to drop their weapons. Noah is angry to realize that Honey released them. Anastasia, freed from her handcuffs, tells Bashir Noah was just about to activate the final laser sequence. When Bashir refuses to kill him, Anastasia struggles for the gun, during which Noah presses a hidden button, summoning Duchamps.

As Duchamps, Falcon, and Noah are disarming the good guys, Eddington calls to tell Bashir they're going to try to rematerialize the patterns in two minutes. "Understood," says Bashir, and Noah hears. "And what is it you understand, Mr. Bashir? That you should have killed me when you had the chance? I agree. But then again, I suppose it wouldn't be very heroic. I, on the other hand, have no pretensions about the idea of being a hero." He levels a gun at Bashir.

"Maybe I'm tired of being a hero," Bashir suddenly says. "Maybe I've thought over what you said and decided that you're absolutely right...The decadence of the world, the need for order. The more I think about it, the more I realize that your way may be the only way." Noah is skeptical of Bashir's sudden conversion, but Bashir continues. "I'm an intelligence agent. And if there's any one thing I've learned, it's that there comes a point when the odds are against you and there is no reasonable course of action but to quit. How do you think I've managed to stay alive so long when all of my compatriots are dead? It is because I have known when to walk away."

Outside the holosuite, the data transfer begins. Meanwhile, Bashir continues to stall for time, and casually moves over to the control panel. "If you think that by going over there, you are going to destroy my control console, you are wasting your time," Noah informs him. "I don't intend to destroy your console, Doctor," Bashir says. "I intend to use it." Quickly, he presses a button, activating the final laser sequence. "You've destroyed ze vorld," Anastasia whispers in shock. And the data transfer is complete. Odo re-establishes computer control over the station.

Noah's map shows the Earth's landmasses shrinking rapidly, replaced by ocean. Noah is puzzled. "Somehow, I didn't expect to win. I suppose the only thing left to do now is to kill you," he says to Bashir, aiming his gun. At that moment, he dematerializes, along with Falcon, Duchamps, Honey, and Anastasia. And Sisko, O'Brien, Worf, Dax, and Kira materialize safe and sound, complete with uniforms, on the Defiant.

Eddington tells Bashir he can leave the holosuite now. Bashir is relieved. "Interesting," muses Garak, rather admiringly. "You saved the day by destroying the world." "I bet they didn't teach you that at the Obsidian Order," Bashir remarks, and Garak agrees. "No. There was a great deal they didn't teach me. Like the value of a good game of chance. Or how indulging in fantasy keeps the mind creative." They decide to have lunch tomorrow. "Why don't we have it at your place, in Hong Kong?" Garak asks. "Unless, of course, this was your last mission." "Oh," says Bashir nonchalantly, "I think it's safe to say that Julian Bashir, secret agent, will return."

  • This episode received two Emmy nominations, for hairstyling and for musical score.
  • At the time of filming, Alexander Siddig and Nana Visitor had just become a couple.